Shahen. Bass: Rock god and all round super star in Armenia wherever the bloody hell that is. Did a great job filling in for Mel. Ate everything that came any where near him.
Shahen get yourself to the doc’s for some help with your diet!
Dan: Keys & fiddle.: Thinks he’s a musician and is often found taking photo’s of himself and fiddling with himself in his room.
Dan get yourself to the docs for some sexual therapy mate!
Mutti: Tour manager, Wanker bossed us around, made us get up in the morning, boring bugger! He’s got the reddist arse I have ever seen! Get your arse checked out at the doc’s Mutti! Love you really Mutti! x
Kid Dee: Muppet show drummer! Don't play him at Fifa 08, spends weeks at home practicing before a tour and won't tell us the key presses... he pretends to help by shouting thigs like L1, triangle, cross, just when your about to score just to put you off. Devious bastard!.The key presses he tells us are wrong, I googled them and it confirmed what a cheat Kid truly is! he deliberatly tells us wrong! also Don’t drink with this guy I guarantee you will regret it, Kid get your drinkin’ checked out at the doc’s and stop frikkin' cheatin'
Scruff: Keef Richards impersonator, pure rock and roll, looks like a puppet on strings when on stage. Not well for the last few days of the tour. Scruff get yourself to the doc’s mate!
Monkey: Vocalist: His performances were brilliant every night unfortunately has a vitamin deficiency caused by never getting up in time for breakfast due to the fact he was always amongst the last to go to bed at night. Monk get yourself to the doc’s for a course of vitamins! Alternatively try getting up in the morning!
Pete: Lead guitar: Struggled through the tour, he really ain’t well! Don’t play him at footy, he’s the dirtiest bastard you’ll ever meet! Already has his appointment at the doc’s. Get well Pete.
Hoggy: Bastard Roady: Looks like and thinks he is George Cluney, Toured 3 pairs of underpants but was really chuffed as he only needed one of them. Has been known to use the same bastards t’shirt for 37 gigs without washing it!
Hoggy mate, get your self to the doc’s for a bed bath!
Dave: Bastard Roady well what can I say, sleep deprived, alcoholically poisoned, aching from shifting gear in and out of venues, my right ear has been damaged from sitting on stage in front of Pete’s guitar cab and my left by sitting next to Pete on the tour bus with him screaming with excitement every time he got a red card!
I not gonna bother with the doc, I’m going straight to a psychiatrist.
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